A Tribute to Steve, Tyler, Tyler & Bill

This day has been on my mind for some time now. I have felt the weight of it as it has approached, and always with a myriad of emotions. Certainly grief, and even anguish, over the loss of not just friends but incredibly good and Godly men who meant so much to so many. Deep grief, but not grief without hope, as here we are a year later, knowing the faithful day-to-day provision of our God, and knowing His grace will be sufficient for our needs. I was in intensive care at Brooks Army Medical Center in San Antonio TX when many good words were shared at the funerals of Steve Tucker, Tyler Springer, Tyler Patterson, and Bill Garner. I too had many words I would have liked to speak on behalf of my friends, but I wasn’t able at the time. It’s been one year since I last saw them, and one year since they first laid eyes on Jesus. While I cannot possibly share all that is on my heart, I share these few words as a tribute to four men who lived lives worthy of the Gospel.
 
On January 17, 2023, I woke up with great anticipation in my heart. It was to be a special day. I had big plans for the day, the kind of plans that keep you up the night before…the kind of plans that remind you of what it feels like to be a kid at Christmas. I was going to be flying with Steve Tucker, on his plane, with four men very special to me, on an overnight adventure to my grand-parents ranch in Texas. If you know me, you know about the ranch. It’s more than a special place to me; it’s a sacred place. It’s the place I shared with great men in my life, my dad and grandad, and who I was excited to share with more great men on this day.
 
Steve Tucker
In his kindness, Steve, who made trips to Texas almost weekly to check on his saddle business, which is located only 45 minutes away from the ranch, had given me an open invitation to come along with him virtually any time I wanted. What made this invitation so special was not just the chance to sneak away here and there to go see the ranch, but to get time with Steve. I was introduced to Steve by one of my mentors, who introduced Steve to me as one of HIS mentors! So I knew off the bat I was in good company to say the least. As the Lord would have it, I had the privilege of building my own relationship with Steve, my own friendship, and sure enough, he would become one of my greatest mentors too.
 
Steve was a throwback in many ways, with a bent towards hard work, mental toughness, moral aptitude, and the highest regard for loving his wife and leading his family. He was a picture of Godly manhood to me right from the start, but he was quick to remind me that any “success” he had or “example” he gave was by the power of the Holy Spirit working in him. Steve was saddened by the caricature of the modern Christian man, who had impulses to do great things for God but lived enslaved to the flesh. He relished and preached the promise of God in Romans 8, that “the Spirit of Him who raised Christ from the dead dwells in us” (Rom.8:11), and thus we can live victoriously over sin. Steve was convinced of the truth that we are given the Holy Spirit so we can live lives set apart, lives filled with hope and purpose and joy and Kingdom gain.
 
At the end of the day, Steve’s greatest joy was simply living by the Spirit. He was free in his conscience because his was a life of obedience. He lived by the Spirit in how he loved his bride of over 40 years, Ms. Cathy. He lived by the Spirit in how he led his business of nearly 20. In both marriage and work, Steve’s aim was to put others ahead of himself and honor God with the stewardship he had been given. In the Garden, God gave Adam a will to obey (His will), a work to do (cultivate the Garden), and a woman to love (Eve). While Adam fell short of faithfulness in each of these areas, a “Second Adam” comes who will redeem failures in His perfect faithfulness. The Second Adam, of course, is Jesus. He obeyed the will of His Father (incarnation through ascension), finished the Work (atonement), and leads and loves His bride (the Church) perfectly to this day. If Godly manhood is characterized by how you respond to “a will to obey, a work to do, and a woman to love”, in the reflection of the first or second Adam, then Steve Tucker was quite a man. An authentic man. A Godly man. And my life, along with countless others, were marked by his faithfulness. A man needs north stars to look to in life to know the way. Steve Tucker was one of mine.
 
Tyler Springer
Interestingly enough, I invited two young men on our trip that day, Tyler Springer and Tyler Patterson, one a Texas boy who had worked for years as a roughneck on a drill rig and the other a cowboy who had been a bull-rider until he broke his neck riding, both tough as nails and tender at heart. I met Tyler Springer about 15 years ago, as a young gun who came to Memphis to go through the Emerging Leaders program at Downline. In the kindness of God, Tyler and I became tight very quickly. I don’t know if it was the fact that he was from Texas, or his bold authenticity, or his desire to preach, but we just connected, and before you knew it we were thick as thieves. Tyler wasn’t planning on coming on the trip until the Sunday before the Tuesday we left. In fact, he had been doing some travelling, and had been out of town for months. My heart leapt when I saw him in church that day, sitting on the front row in his white hoodie. He came up to me afterwards, and we began to catch up. He mentioned he would be heading to Dallas to be with his family on Tuesday for his nephew’s birth. I told him I was going to be heading to the ranch that day, and wondered aloud if he could hitch a ride with us, and come to the ranch with me before heading home. Tyler lit up at the idea, and so I texted Steve and asked if there was room. Steve had always loved Tyler. He had a soft spot for him ever since the time Tyler helped Steve change a flat tire in the wee hours of the morning after an elder meeting. Steve said Tyler could come, and it was settled. We couldn’t wait to get some time together.
 
Tyler was like the little brother I never had. I admired his youthful passion, coupled with dogged determination (some might say hard-headedness!). And yet, he possessed a carefree spirit, a comfort in his own skin, and a renegade toughness that reminded me of my dad. God had already done a deep work in Tyler’s life, and best I can describe him, he was a “rebel with a cause”. He loved God deeply, and was ferociously loyal to his friends. I invited Tyler to be in my weekly discipleship group, which met early mornings in my back house. No heating or cooling in this structure, but Tyler was not the kind to complain. We sweated in the summer, and could see each other’s breath in the winter, as we studied God’s Word together. Tyler had a call on his life to preach, and so anytime I was going somewhere to preach the Word, I would bring Tyler along in hopes of investing in his life and his calling. It was during these countless hours spent together on road trips, overnighters, and multiple international mission trips that we became so close. Tyler was the kind of friend and partner in the Gospel that you wanted in the trenches with you when the fighting was fiercest. You knew he wouldn’t run, he wouldn’t complain, and if a bullet came your way, he’d try and take it.
 
Over all my years in discipleship ministry, there are a handful of men I would call “spiritual sons”. These are the men you love like your own. You hurt when they hurt, you rejoice when they thrive, and you find your greatest joy in pouring your life into them as you watch them “grow up” in the Lord. For me, Tyler was one of those men, and one of my life’s greatest privileges was investing in him. My heart would swell with pride watching him take risks and do hard things, I would be brought to my knees in prayer for him when he stumbled, and watching him flourish in his calling at various times in his life was so deeply satisfying and rewarding. Through it all, I simply enjoyed being “with him.” At the end of the day, Tyler’s life inspired me to live, and it still does. To never take a single day for granted, and to remember that it’s not always about where you’re going or how long it takes to get there, but that the joy is in the journey. The Lord was so gracious to allow me the joy of the journey with Tyler, and whenever I think of him, with a heart full of gratitude, I will be encouraged to press on.
 
Tyler Patterson
Tyler was the young man I wanted to know. He approached me one day, asking if I might be able to get some time with him, to share with him that which older, Godly men have shared with me. It’s always humbling when a young man asks for this, though I can think of countless men far better for the task. And because my plate is already so full with five boys ranging from ages 16 to 5, and a discipleship group of men that I’m already struggling to get life on life time with, I generally try to connect men like Tyler with an older, Godly man, to disciple them. And yet with Tyler, I couldn’t help but want to spend that time with him myself. I mean, he was a real cowboy for goodness sake, an ex-rodeo bull rider, a rancher who had just started up a local business to raise beef cattle right here in the mid-South. On top of that, when he spoke to me, I could see in his eyes a deep determination. There was a perfect blend of humility and hunger. I knew this man was committed. I knew his heart was the Lord’s, and he had a deep longing to be faithful in the critical areas of life, as a husband, a father, and a Christ-follower.
 
From the time he introduced himself, the Lord kept Tyler on my mind. I knew exactly who I wanted to connect him with, the weathered and wise cowboy patriarch of our church, Steve Tucker, but I also wanted to get time with him myself. I was fascinated with his life and his story, and I sensed not only a kindred spirit, but the kind of friend who sticks closer than a brother. Naturally, when Steve Tucker invited me to go to the ranch with him on his next trip down, I immediately asked if we could bring a “young cowboy, a true Texan at heart” who wanted to grow in the Lord, and he excitedly agreed. I was so excited to get to know Tyler better, and excited about Tyler getting the time with Steve, and making a connection with Tyler Springer, as I knew they would become fast friends.
 
In the weeks leading up to our trip, we asked Tyler if he would be willing to allow our staff at Harvest to come out to the local ranch where he was raising beef cattle, for a day of staff fun. Of course he was more than willing, and he played the host beautifully, showing us the ropes of his new operation, patiently answering many ignorant questions, and indoctrinating a bunch of city folk in the glorious realities of cattle-ranching. It was sheer joy to be with him in his element, and not merely b/c I love cattle! His easy-going nature, his humble convictions, his patient and kind demeanor just drew you in. He shared with me the story of how he met his bride Mary Elizabeth (“Emme”) and immediately knew she was the most precious woman he had ever known. In fact, she was so precious that he would one day give up bull riding at the ultimatum of her or the bulls (granted, he was coming off a recent neck breaking injury when she put her foot down!) He talked with such joy about his little girl, and with such pride about his little boy. All I could talk about when I got home to Kathryn was how much I loved Tyler Patterson. I knew then, he was the real deal.
 
Though my time with him was brief, it’s amazing how much inspiration I draw from Tyler, to be wholly devoted to the most precious girl I’ve ever met, my sweet Kathryn, and to be the father to my boys that God has called me to be. His hunger to be faithful in these primary areas moved me deeply. They sharpened my focus. They fueled my fire. It’s ironic to me that in the end, the young man who came to me, asking me to pour into him spiritually, made a deposit in my life that will forever shape my marriage and my family. When I remember Tyler Patterson, I’ll be reminded of my first and foremost calling – to love the wife of my youth and to treasure my boys. His legacy challenges me, and every man who knew him, to stay humble and hungry in the areas that matter most.
 
Bill Garner
There was of course one more man on that plane, a man whose shadow looms large over Harvest Church, and that was my friend Bill. Bill had never been to the ranch, though he and I had both longed for him to see it for some time. Bill claimed to be the most “Texan” of the two of us, having been born there and gone to school there, but I never really bought it. In fact, that morning he texted and asked whether he should wear is cowboy boots. I asked him what kind of question that was, as if it was even a decision, and wouldn’t you know he shows up wearing hiking boots! Said something about comfort over authenticity…
 
I met Bill at a lunch one day 15 years ago that someone had set up for me to cast vision for the Downline Institute, a program created to take men and women through the Bible in 9 months, equipping them to make disciples of Jesus Christ. After our lunch, Bill told me he wanted to go through the Institute. Little did I know at the time, Bill had already served in vocational ministry for nearly two decades at two different churches, and had a great knowledge of God’s Word and a deep relationship with Jesus. I’m not sure why the Spirit prompted him to go on the DL journey, but I’m sure forever grateful. Over the next 9 months, Bill and I became friends. I quickly resonated with how down to Earth he was. No pretention, nothing to prove. Bill didn’t need anything from me, and yet He wanted so much for me. He was the real deal. A man who had gone through his fair share of heartache, and had never quit clinging to the Lord. A man whose life was full of scars, yet whose heart was full of hope. A man who walked with a limp, and yet that’s precisely what made him so approachable and relatable. I think that possibly the rarest gift Bill had was his ability to walk with people in the brokenness of their lives, and he was able to do so because of how the Lord had walked with him through his own. He was a walking Gospel illustration, and an incredible Kingdom asset.
 
When the Lord moved on my heart to plant Harvest Church, He moved on Bill’s too. Bill was with me from the start, and willing to do whatever was needed. Before long, he was our Executive Pastor, and he has walked with me every step of the way over the last 10 years. Bill was such a gift to me. He was a bonified mentor. I could share anything and everything with him, and I did. He didn’t always know the answer, but he was always available to hear. Those who know me know that I am a verbal processor. I have no idea how many thousands of hours Bill listened to me process, even when he knew the answer before I began to speak. Part of his genius was to force me to make hard decisions, even if they were the wrong decisions, because he wanted me to grow as a leader and as a man. Bill was also my armor bearer. In I Samuel 14, Jonathan and his armor bearer climbed the cliff into the Philistine camp, where the fighting was fierce. For the last 10 years, in every cliff I’ve climbed, Bill has been with me, never afraid to go where the fighting was fiercest, and always with the armor of God fitted firmly in place. He taught me in profound ways to lead, to love, and to minister out of our weakness and the Lord’s strength. He was my accountability partner too. Any time the Holy Spirit convicted me of sin in my life, I immediately knew a conversation with Bill was coming, per our agreement. And so many a time I collapsed on his couch to confess sin, and to ask for prayer. If there was one area in which Bill demonstrated the Gospel so vividly to me, this was it. He always listened intently. He never made light of my sin, never justified it or excused it. And yet there was no judgmentalism either. He listened, he grieved, he warned, he advised, and he prayed. With Bill I was fully known in all my sin, and still deeply loved…the very essence of the Gospel.
 
Bill was solid as a rock. He loved the outdoors. He was an amateur ornithologist, which always made me smile. He would hear a bird call, and stop, furrow his brow, and then declare what bird we were being serenaded by. He also knew trees, and snakes. He came over one day and did a nature walk with my boys, explaining to them what every tree in our neighborhood was, how it was unique in God’s design, and why he loved that particular tree. Each year when the trees began to come alive and flower again, I would call Bill for a refresher. He never wanted to tell me over the phone. He wanted to come stand with me and revel together at God’s creation. He loved to hike and to bike. He loved to hunt and loved to fish. He could hit a golf ball forever without hardly taking the club back at all. His hands were strong, as was his back. Those strong hands lifted me up on many a day when I was down, and that strong back carried me on the days I couldn’t go any further. Bill took me on my first official hospital visit when my pastoral ministry career began. We prayed over a man who was going to die soon. We prayed for God’s peace over the man, and held his wife as she cried. On our way home, Bill told me that was real ministry, sitting with people in their deepest hurts and reminding them of the love and promises of God. For the next 10 years, Bill would sit with me through my deepest hurts and remind me of God’s love and His promises.
 
One day Bill called me to tell me about a girl. That girl was Elizabeth, and I got to watch Bill pursue a woman to the altar. He and Elizabeth gave me the privilege of speaking at their wedding. I talked about how special Elizabeth was in that homily, that she was a “Ruth” of our day. I can honestly say that even in the normal ups and downs of marriage, Bill looked at Elizabeth as a gift from God every day. He was so proud to have her on his arm, and it was inspiring and convicting to watch the way he pursued her. Bill’s life was blessed, and yet had many challenges. “To whom much is given, much is required.” (Luke 12:48) Bill was given much, and from him much was required. By God’s grace, he had the wisdom to do what he could, and then trust the Lord. It’s not that he didn’t hurt, because he did. But he never panicked. He was an anchor in his marriage, an anchor in his family, and an anchor on our staff, someone who you could count on to hold the lines when the waves come crashing in.
 
Bill was an incredible sounding board. Every home project, every life decision, every sermon series, every marriage misunderstanding, every parenting challenge, every insignificant sports moment…he heard them all. I lost my dad at 16, and in His mercy, God has put men in my life in different seasons who have filled his shoes, and been that critically needed fatherly presence in my life. For the last 10 years, Bill played that role too. I had 24/7 access to him, in only the way a son does to his father. I sat with him, golfed with him, fished with him, ministered with him, argued with him, and cried with him. Through it all, I admired Bill so much, and in so many ways, I wanted to become like him. I hope my boys look up to me the way I looked up to Bill. Somehow with a full life of his own, a wife he cherished, children and grandchildren he adored, so many great friends in the community, and a thriving ministry to men and couples in our church, he was never too busy to be there for me. At the end of the day, that’s what a true friend does. That’s who a true friend is. And Bill Garner was the best friend I ever had. I hope there is golf in heaven, because one of my life goals was to beat him one day. 15 years wasn’t long enough to get it done. Not sure eternity will be either, but I’d sure like to try.
 
A spiritual father, a spiritual son, a new friend, and a best friend.
What a crew I met that morning at the Signature airport. We all had full hearts, but I think mine was the fullest. Three hours later, earth became poorer and heaven became richer. Words could never capture the worth and significance of these men’s lives. They were some of the finest men I knew, and their lives have forever marked mine. God used each man to encourage and inspire me uniquely, as I hope to have captured in this brief tribute. I will forever cherish the gift of their friendship, and praise God for that gift. While they will be missed beyond measure, their legacies remain and strengthen us as we press on in the Gospel mission that bound us all together, the mission of exalting Jesus Christ. 
 
As you consider these men today, will you take time to pray for their families, with intentionality, with empathy, and with great assurance that the Lord will hear our prayers and meet them with His Presence to give them exactly what they need. Pray that they might find their rest in Christ today, in His goodness, in His character, and in His promises.
 
I believe that as we pray for those whom they loved most, we honor these four men today.
 
May the Grace of God be yours in Christ,
Kennon